Monday, July 21, 2008

untitled (December 2006)

to friendship.
   nothing stupid
you said.
   you're gonna 
leave anyway,
   you said
let's not mess 
   with our heads
and remember
   i said, perfect.
i don't want 
   to get involved
because really, 
   right then, i thought
i am not vulnerable,
   i am unavailable,
incapable 
   after all the loss
and if it's sex
   then it's just sex
and that is easy.
   you said, animal.
i said, perfect.
i don't want to get involved.
now
  your 
   face
     keeps
       coming
         breaks in
      through
    daylight
  and traffic
some 
    sunrise 
       specter
           bent 
              eyelids
          blonde
        hair
      all 
arms
  and 
       the
          deepest 
         perfect 
      kisses
and 
    the grind
        when you 
            knelt 
              with 
                my ass
            in your
       hands
    your 
 mouth 
      down 
          my pants
              I want to
            kneel 
        at your
  waist.
i will fight
my own mind-
the intimate
details -
the rewind and erase . 
i look for
songs to 
cheer myself
but instead I mope
down the aisle
and leave with
Leonard Cohen's
Book of Longing.
watch lovers 
buy presents
for relatives
they can't stand.
even the
fucking 
parking lot
is shiny.
i'll stifle 
these fits
with good wine
and cheap hymns.
you know 
i heard it 
when you sang
about losing 
your mind.
better than 
your heart 
my friend.
i'm getting 
too good at 
this shit.
a smoke 
at the door
and you are gone.

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